The mourning after

Stella is the proprietor of my favourite coffee house, a gentle lady, glowing warmly at the regulars.  She could be anywhere between 35 and 60.

She's busy at the sink in the back corner, as I drop off my coffee cup and plates, along with those of elder daughter, who is reading her Kindle back at our table, awaiting my return from the washroom.

"You'll miss her," says Stella over her shoulder.

"I will," I reply.

"It's so nice she was able to have a long visit."  The penny drops.

"Oh.  You mean my daughter."

I then have to explain that my daughter hasn't remained in Victoria since mid-December.  She flew back to London, as scheduled, on Twelfth Night.

Demeter fell, catastrophically, four days later.  We spent that day and the next in Emergency.  Double-Leo Sister came down with her husband and her younger son, who texted his cousin during the "night watch" from the private room set up for palliative care.  "End-of-life care," he told elder daughter, who phoned me at midnight.

I'd been deeply asleep, exhausted.  She told me her cousin had said to come.  "Is it all right if I come?"

"Darling," I mumbled drowsily.  "You must do what's best for you."

She arrived the following evening, having thrown her things in a suitcase, still jet-lagged from her previous flight from a few days before.

I didn't tell Stella all this, of course.  But she was chagrinned.  I assured her that it hadn't been written across my chest; she was not to know.  

While I was in the washroom, Stella sought out elder daughter to apologise. Earlier, Stella had called out cheerily to elder daughter, placing her order with the barista, saying how nice it was that she had been able to stay so long.

Elder daughter hadn't wanted to call out, across the coffee shop, that her grandmother had died.  That she had been the one alone at the bedside, when Demeter drew her last breath.

Maybe we should bring back the custom of black armbands.

On nodding terms

 

Strange where misery can lead you.

In this case, it led me to the north-east corner of Linden and Oscar, where I never go, normally.

I had barrelled out into the September evening, furious at the Resident Fan boy, and fleeing my feelings.  I considered heading east on Fairfield Road, currently being stripped and dug for resurfacing, gawd knows when.

However the blurred indigo of the Olympic Mountains drew me to turn my toes south at the last minute, and I started down Linden Avenue on the unaccustomed east side.  And I stopped.

It was a telephone pole, ringed with wooden plaques and pieces of paper, some bearing platitudes, some inscribed with poetry. I revolved around it, reading in the last rays of the sun disappearing behind James Bay.

It was a "Kindness Corner", inviting people to add their own messages, or take a picture.

Among the missives was a quote attributed to the late Joan Didion: "We are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be."

The person I used to be? I thought, turning westward.  I think she was nicer, really.  Certainly more clueless.  It's easy to be nice, when you're clueless.

A fawn strolled diagonally across the street, some yards ahead of me.  I turned north, where the early evening light hit the sides of the limbs of the ancient plane trees, and thought:  It's September.  I live here.

Six years ago, we moved into this neighbourhood and reclaimed it.  The younger, clueless, nicer me left here years ago.  I don't think I can reclaim her.  But I can re-read my journals and walk these streets, and nod in her direction.

Good night, sweet wince

 Maybe you were saddened by the news of the recent death of Ozzy Osborne.  I wasn't gladdened by the news, but it was my sister playing "Paranoid" at ear-splitting levels when we were kids -- and that was mainly because Black Sabbath was what her friends were into at the time.  

Without their actually embracing devil worship of course.  

I think.

Anyway, I'm genuinely entering a period of mourning today, because I learned that Tom Lehrer has died.  He's figured in this blog more than once.

I have pretty much every song he ever recorded - even the three songs he wrote and sang for the children's programme Electric Company - and so many of them have been floating through my head with their witty and acerbic (sometimes a tad disturbing) lyrics:  "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park", "The Masochism Tango", among so many others, even though, relatively speaking, his output was quite small.

I have a soft spot for this one, which one might describe as a deep cut: 

And here's the man himself, performing in Copenhagen nearly sixty years ago:  

I would say we need his brand of satire all the more - and maybe we do - but sadly, quite a few of his songs are still pretty pertinent.

As Lehrer himself once said:  "If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while." 

He was joking.

I think.

Sounds like Hades to me...

 

In what seems to be turning into a chilling summer theme, I offer this latest bit of literate humour from Wrong Hands' John Atkinson.

He's from Ottawa, but I don't hold that against him.  

Not much.

Maybe I should just avoid comedians with names starting with "J"...

I know this is a few months old, but I just heard it, and it's been haunting my week. 

 I've set this video by Josh Johnson to begin at the spooky part, but you can watch the whole thing if you'd like the context -- and because it's entertaining.

And quite terrifying, to be frank -- or Josh Johnson -- or John Oliver...  

Pride and prejudice

Iphis texted me earlier this week.  He wanted to drop by our house for a meal.

- Neat! I responded.  - Are you in town for Canada Day or for Pride?

- For Pride! I don't celebrate Canada Day.  What are you up to on Wednesday?

- Younger daughter and the Resident Fan Boy usually hit the library on Tuesdays, but, because of that holiday you don't celebrate (clutching my pearls, which makes it *really* difficult to text), they'll probably do it Wednesday -- unless you have a really exciting suggestion for lunch....

- I know, the scandal!  Not liking nationalism and big crowds of loud strangers!?! I could do dinner Wednesday. 

I agree to the Wednesday dinner, but think to myself:  Nationalism and big crowds of loud strangers?  Isn't that a description of Pride?

From far and wide -- redundant

It's a Canada Day with an interesting vibe. 

The usual clichés, but with a slightly siege-like feeling. 

This year, I started seeing red teeshirts and maple leaves early, appearing on the streets around our home in the week leading up to our national holiday. 

The Resident Fan Boy, jet-lagged from several hours spent with Air Canada (long story), hung up our flag on what we laughingly call the patio, and tuned into the ceremonies from Ottawa, the usual sea of red-and-white, alarmingly resembling a MAGA rally -- except for the gentle smiles and effusive, but polite applause.

This short offering from the National Film Board of Canada is fourteen years old.

I don't care.

Made to mark the presentation of the Governor General's Performing Arts Award for Lifetime Achievement to William Shatner in 2011, it features Shatner out-Shatnering himself.  It doesn't get old.  (Except for the tweeting bit.)

Stay for the credits.  It's worth it.

Should I also add "heartbreak?"

 

In my ever-dimming hopes of becoming a better person, I keep scores of qualities on slips of cardboard in my blessing bag, drawing them out three at a time.  I learned this practice during my years volunteering in the hospice.  I do have cards inscribed with "discipline", "honesty", "love", "patience", and "humility".

I'm seriously considering "not clapping on 1 and 3".

Putzing around Putney

Don't let the rather twee titles and descriptions of these videos put you off.

I can't quite recall how I stumbled across this extensive list of walking tours of London neighbourhoods and beyond, but I find them enormously cheering. 

On a down day, I pick an area of London associated with either my family history or that of the Resident Fan Boy, and usually it's just the ticket.  The guide is Julien McDonnell of Joolz Guides. He's from the Muswell Hill area originally, studied philosophy (of all things) in Manchester, and his video walks - usually chatting companionably with his videographer - are charmingly informal, and cover pretty well any area of London you can think of.  (He's a pretty snazzy dresser, too.)

Here's a recent one about Putney.

Fault lines

 

I've never sat down and counted the number of anniversaries the Resident Fan Boy has missed, but it's probably at least a quarter of the available ones.  It's not always his fault.

This one is; he's spending it in London, Ontario, of all places, under a heat dome.  He sent me a view from his hotel window; it looks exactly like the view from the St Laurent Transitway station in Hades. Here in Victoria, the June weather this year has been cool and temperate. -- his loss.

Anyway, I got a text from my Friend of the Right Hand, offering to drop over over with some ginger loaves.  It turned out the RFB had sneakily persuaded her to deliver some roses, seeing as this anniversary is one of those ending in 5.