How the cat shrunk

Art by Marlene Llanes, a surrealist artist based in Austin, Texas

Our cat is large.

His weight hovers around fourteen and fifteen pounds, and if a vet is meeting him for the first time at the local animal clinic, s/he will note the weight on his record, and expect to see a roly-poly feline, only to be confronted with a a long and lithe leonine tabby, capable of knocking things from the counter with his hind paws on the floor.

We have always fed him carefully, but changes in routine over the past couple of years mean that the Resident Fan Boy has taken over the feeding regime.  I had the dry food food bag set up nicely in a cupboard beyond the cat's long reach with an ancient metal measuring cup as a scoop - used because it is a) old, battered, but clean, and b) it fits into the bag. 

After a few months of feline-feeding, the RFB took the cat into the clinic for a routine pedicure.

The vet informed the RFB that the cat now weighed twelve pounds, not a bad weight for your average tabby, but rather too svelte for our puny puma.  The vet recommended, the RFB told me that afternoon, upping the dry food serving to a cup and a half from one third of a cup.

I gazed at him for a few seconds.

"Uh, one third of a cup?  The bag says "1 1/4 cups" for a cat of his size.  You've been feeding him one third of a cup per day?" I asked incredulously.

The RFB shrugged sheepishly. "That's the measure that was there, and you said to cover the bottom of the bowl...."

"That was for kitty litter!!!!"

No wonder the cat has been eating the toilet roll.

(He's back to his normal weight now.)