The sixth day of Christmas

We're halfway through the festival, then we're flung out of the cozy harbour of the holidays into the grim open seas of the school year, with no sign of bus service anytime soon. The temperatures have plummeted and there's a thinnish cover of snow on the ground, just enough to brighten up the muddy berms and need shovelling from the front paths. For the first time since December began, younger daughter has selected a non-Christmas DVD for her daily viewing.

Actually, what's considered holiday viewing in North America baffles me. Even the so-called Christmas specials back-pedal so furiously from being about Christmas that you end up with odd kind of soulless stories with a vague moral. One of the few new offerings this year was a thing called Shrek the Halls in which Shrek apparently learns that spending time with your friends is the most important thing, no matter how annoying, destructive, overbearing, loud, etc. those friends happen to be. It wasn't quite clear what holiday these friends were supposed to be celebrating, but apparently, it was important to do it together...

Educational channels seem to think anything by Dickens is Christmassy so we got The Old Curiosity Shop and Oliver Twist. Channels aimed at female audiences think anything to do with Jane Austen is Christmas fare, and family channels think The Sound of Music is a Christmas movie. Summertime. Nazis. Sure sounds like Christmas to me.

While we're at it, when did "My Favourite Things" become a Christmas song? As far as I can tell, it's because of "brown paper packages tied up with string" "silv'ry white winters that melt into spring" and "snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes". But "raindrops on roses"? "When the bees sting?" What is this? Christmas in Australia? And don't get me started on "Jingle Bells", "Winter Wonderland", or "Baby, It's Cold Outside". Sing them if you like, but please stop calling them Christmas carols. A) They're not carols. B) They've nothing to do with Christmas, even in a secular way. (Oh yeah, and Marilyn Monroe never recorded "Santa Baby"...)

If we're going to go for secular Christmas music, here's one that isn't played nearly enough: Oh, sing it, Chrissie Hynde. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go shove some more mince tarts in the oven. It's time to open the sixth day of Christmas present...