Monday, 28 February 2011

The Silence is Rest

My half-brother was found dead in his fetid apartment in England today. He had been dead for several days. I never met him; he did not learn of my existence until seven years ago. I only spoke to him during two endless long-distance phone-calls where I mostly listened in helpless bewilderment to his incoherent grief, rage and despair.

But blood goes deep. Blood goes beyond knowledge. I am diminished by his loss, the current loss and the ongoing loss that was the final two decades of his life.

This isn't why I haven't written for nearly two months. It is why I have little to write today. I will endeavour to do better.

11 comments:

Ann O'Dyne said...

MUCH sympathy from me for your multiple loss. so strange that our heart can experience actual pain when it isn't even physically touched.
I hope you find a way to resolve this sad event.
sending you a virtual hug.

Jane Henry said...

Oh Persephone! What terrible news. Sending you all good wishes at this dreadful time.xxx

Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Oh sweetness: you and your family have been in my thoughts - I was wondering how things were. And this sort of bereavement can be so very hard to deal with --- my thoughts are with you.

Nimble said...

What a shock. Wishing peace and consolation your way.

peteraj said...

In my thoughts

SOL's view said...

Thinking of you in your time of loss. xxx

chrissie_allen said...

You are in my thoughts too Persephone.

Vol-E said...

The worst kind of loss is the one that comes with unfinished business, words unsaid, or loose ends. The unresolved and incompletely defined nature of the relationship makes it that much harder to cope with its untimely end.

Rob said...

My heart goes out to you: if anything it must make it worse that you never met him. **HUGS**

Persephone said...

I am remiss and a bad, bad blogger for failing to respond to all your kind messages. Thank you very much.

Love,
Persephone

D.Nambiar said...

Got here from Nablopomo.

I'm sorry for your loss. Try to have a happy birthday, tho' :)