A part of the main?

An October sunset in Fairfield

 I am diminished. 

A cousin in Wales contacted me through Facebook to tell me that a mutual cousin - his first, my second - has died, seemingly suddenly, not far from me, leaving her husband, her aged mother, and her sister. I'm not sure of her age, except that she was younger than me. 

While checking around for more information, I stumbled across the recent obituary of a Friend (she was a lifelong Quaker) who slipped away a couple of weeks ago. I haven't seen her in years, and have just learned that she lived a matter of blocks away.

I may not be an island, but the circumstances of the past few years certainly have succeeded in isolating me.

Colder chests

As I continue to build my Spotify account, I stumble across moments. A few days ago, I mentioned here a song I'd almost forgotten about that reminds me of my young motherhood days. Yesterday, I suddenly remembered a song from my earlier days in Ottawa.

I used to volunteer at the library at the elementary school where my daughters attended. When elder daughter was there, the librarian was a twenty-something who actually introduced me to Launchcast.

This song, recommended to my Launchcast account about fifteen years ago, reaches into me like a hook, and I can clearly see the study in our house on Springfield Road, feeling the aloneness and the grey cold outside.

Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
Too many books
Read me your favourite line
Papa went to other lands
And he found someone who understands
The ticking, and the western man's need to cry
He came back the other day, you know
Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same
Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time
Older gents sit on the fence
With their cap in hand
Looking grand
They watch their city change
Children scream, or so it seems,
Louder than before
Out of doors, and into stores with bigger names
Mama tried to wash their faces
But these kids they lost their graces
And daddy lost at the races too many times
She broke down the other day, yeah you know
Some things in life may change
But some things they stay the same