Wham, bam, thank you meme

Today, I'm digging myself out of a week of silence by tackling the meme at Jaywalker's fine blog It's not that there's been a shortage of things to blog about, but I've been somehow unable to force myself to write, so this might break the block. I really hate passing these things on to people (even though that's the point), so please, if you feel moved to do this, will you let me know?

1. Are you a male or female? Woman. Earthy variety.

2. Describe yourself. Younger than I'll ever be.

3. How do you feel about yourself?
Protective and bewildered,like a mum wondering how to get her teen-aged daughter to pull out of a potentially self-destructive trajectory.

4. Describe your parents.
My father was a man of many fine qualities. Telling the truth wasn't one of them. I've just received a copy of the order of service from his memorial service. Neither my sister nor I are mentioned and when I read the included two-paged (single-spaced) biography, I finally realized why. If either my sister or I had attempted to see him in San Francisco, it would have blown the convoluted and fantastic epic that he had created out of the detritus of his former life sky high. It will take some time and a lot of carefully-chosen words before I can blog about this. Sagittarian.

My mother is nearly the polar opposite of my father in philosophy, politics, and her attitude toward the truth. Not a saint by any means, and no easier to live with than any of us mortals, but in terms of personal integrity, ahead of the general pack. Ahead of her time, too, in many ways -- she was using Vitamin D and velcro well before they came into popular use. An Aquarian without a doubt.

5. Describe your ex boyfriend/girlfriends.
There's only one, really, unless you count two sexual experiments from my mid-teens and the guy I used to neck with at parties. And I don't. My one former boyfriend was a knight-in-shining-armour type, who stayed until I was out of danger and hopelessly in love, then moved on to a girl who was in even more trouble than I was.

6. Describe your current boy/girl situation. I have a husband of several years. He's a Virgo through and through and hence rather obsessive and very attentive to personal hygiene. (A double-edge sword, but it has its benefits.) It's difficult to describe someone you've lived with every day for so long. This song, Helpless Heart by Paul Brady, comes close:

I'm sitting here inside this stranger's place
And time is racing by
I've been way out here for a month or more
Tonight I'm wonderin' why
You try to understand the things that I feel
Maybe this time I'll find a way to explain it

Cause there is a dream deep inside me head
And it may seem like it's breaking the thread
That holds me to you
Still you have never wanted to change me
But darling I know though we're far apart
The signal is strong
This helpless heart will always belong to you...to you

This power takes me from the place I belong
To where only the strong get through
You've got to keep on believing or you'll lose your way
Cause it slips right out of view
Thought there are days the light can flicker and fade
Here in this place tonight a fire is burning

7. Describe your current location. Our cluttered study, which keeps lightening and darkening as the morning sun moves in and out of the clouds. Younger daughter, sick with a vague virus since Monday, is crooning contentedly in front of the television set.

8. Describe where you want to be. In Victoria, BC in a house or apartment, heck, even a hovel within walking distance of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and my mother's. Or a house or apartment, heck, even a hovel somewhere near a Tube Station in London. Or somewhere where both my daughters are getting the educations they need.

9. Your best friend(s) is/are remarkable for even liking me.

10. Your favourite colour is probably blue. Although I feel drawn to magenta.

11. You know that panic feeds panic, so staying calm (or pretending to stay calm) is the best way to cope, no matter how bad things are.

12. If your life were a television show what would it be called? I dunno, Styx and Stones ?

13. What is life to you? Loss.

14. What is the best advice you have to give? When I filled out Norm Geras' Blogger's Profile, I said, "Pick your battles." I'm sticking with that.