You'll have to have them all pulled out

 I'm reasonably sure I'm getting Purdy's chocolates tomorrow.  Purdy's are from British Columbia.  They are the best.  At least I've always thought so until today.

So the Resident Fan Boy, younger daughter and I went down into deepest darkest New Edinburgh to check out the "Locavore Artisans Food Fest".  (Elder daughter elected to stay home with the Accent Snob and take him for his midday pull -- he doesn't care much for walks.)  My main reason for going was because I knew I could get Harvest Honey there.  I was hoping they still made their Irish Cream Honey Spread, but had to settle for several jars of their Cinnamon Honey Butter and Chocolate Honey.  (Listen, I need something for thank-you gifts, okay?)

After standing in long lines with more new-borns than I'd seen at our prenatal graduation class for wood oven pizza and rather strange soda drinks without the soda (they'd run out), we ventured back in and wandered a little too close to the Koko Chocolates booth.  Oh geez.  They had milk caramels.  And raspberry truffles.  (Raspberry, I tell you.) And white vanilla rum truffles.  And bacon truffles.

Wait.  Bacon???

"It's one of our seasonal flavours," she explained.
"Bacon is seasonal?"
"Well, normally, we offer them in November, but I've made a special batch for this event."
"Well, I thought, yeah, closer to Christmas.  I've read Charlotte's Web..."

The Resident Fan Boy had to take a moment to recover from that one, but in the end, couldn't resist making the bacon (see what I did there?) one of the six lucky truffles we took home with us.  He decided it wasn't really worth repeating the experience.

I tried the Raspberry truffle, even though I'm not that fond of dark chocolate.  I started kind of vibrating and making odd noises.  When I came to, I realized I was rocking slightly and rubbing my thighs.

 Good thing I was alone.

I'd tell you about the fresh donuts and the ice-cream sandwiches made with brownie crusts, but you've probably had enough food porn.